Clothed With Joy

“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.”

Psalm 30:11-12

What is God calling me to? Is he really calling me to seminary? What will people say? What will he call me to after that? Will I go back to China? Will I be a pastor? During the last two years or so I’ve asked all of these questions and many, many more. Some of them I’ve received answers to. Yes, he did call me to seminary. Reactions were better than I imagined (I have a good imagination). But I’m still waiting for answers to many of my questions. I wish I was writing this to announce that God showed me the five-year plan for my life. But that’s not it. Instead I want to share how God has clothed me with joy at the opportunity I have to be an intern pastor this summer and to (Lord willing) be ordained in a few years.

On Wednesday, I feel like everything came together, as God gave me this joy. In the morning I went and visited a church member living in a nursing home. She was a bit melancholy when I got there, but as I listened and cared, read scripture and prayed, her mood lifted. In the afternoon, I went with the pastor of the church to visit a young woman who had a baby a couple of weeks ago. She is in an overwhelming situation, but appreciated the care and concern. After these two visits, I had a new feeling in my gut—a feeling I’ve come to know is from the Holy Spirit. It was similar to the feeling I had when I finally accepted the fact that I was called a seminary. That feeling said, “This is right. This is what I am calling you to. This is what will bring you joy.” God has taken the sackcloth of my life—fears and misgivings—and clothed me with joy at what he is calling me to. For the first time, I can (kind of) imagine myself as a pastor. I know that it won’t be easy. There will be many hard days ahead. But I thank God that my attitude is changing and I am looking to the future with joy and trepidation instead of fear and trepidation.

Great Falls of Paterson

One of Paterson's well-known landmarks is the Great Falls. It is the "second largest waterfall by volume east of the Mississippi." Alexander Hamilton visited them and saw great potential to harness them for power and create the first planned industrial city in the U.S. Paterson became a great manufacturing city, especially for silk. I went and visited the falls yesterday and here are a few pictures.

Because of all the manufacturing, Paterson has long been a city of many immigrants. It remains so today (although there is less manufacturing). Only the countries of origin have changed. Today, 50-60% of the population is Hispanic. 32% is African American. There is also a sizable group of middle eastern immigrants. The apartment building where I live is one block over from a big Islamic Center/mosque. Parking was pretty crazy on Friday afternoon when their main prayer service is held.

The neighborhood where church is has a lot of Jamaican immigrants (I need to go to the restaurant with Jamaican food soon!). The demographics of the church are roughly 60% African American, 30% Anglo, and the rest English-speaking Hispanics (and I guess anyone else). I know statistics aren't that interesting, but it does give a glimpse of what the area is like. Basically, I'm in the minority most of the time.

Grace in Newness

I've been in Paterson for almost a week now. It's been a good week--overwhelming in its newness, but good. Change is hard for me; I love old friends and consistent routines. Leaving Grand Rapids for the summer was harder than I was expecting, but it helped me realize what a wonderful community (friends and church) God has blessed me with there. Developing a new community was one of my main prayer requests a year ago when I came back from China, so I praise God for the ways in which he has been faithful and provided for me.

Now I'm in Paterson: meeting new people, adjusting to a different lifestyle, figuring out new traffic patterns and crazy roads, observing the patterns of different cultures, and taking my first tentative steps into pastoral ministry. And it's all new. I've enjoyed the experiences (well, I could live without the crazy traffic and jaywalkers whose patterns I don't understand), but it is also tiring dealing with them all the time. I'm doing a wide variety of things this summer. I spent this week visiting some of the church's ministries, participating in a Habitat for Humanity clergy build, prayerwalking, attending meetings for the summer outreach team and worship leaders, visiting some of the sick and shut-in (two with the pastor and one on my own), and preparing for the Facing Your Future group that is coming in a couple of weeks. Over the summer I will also be preaching and leading worship, along with whatever else comes up.

In the face of all of this, the words of 1 Peter 1:1-2 brought me comfort this morning, "To God's elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces...who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance." Even though I am scattered to another new place, my identity in Christ is the same and God blesses me with his grace and peace for each new day.

Some of the grace has come in the form of the church's people and ministries. The congregation has embraced me with open arms--literally with lots of hugs. They are warm, welcoming, and very hospitable. I hope that these traits become a part of me before the summer is over. The many different ministries the church has to serve hurting people are also a form of grace. The church is a pillar in the community for many who don't have much hope left because of poverty, addiction, illness, family issues, etc., and it acts as Jesus' hands and feet in the neighborhood, pointing everyone to healing in Jesus. Even in the darkness and difficulty, God is at work here, and his grace is becoming tangible.

New York City

I've been in New Jersey for about a week now. Last week I spent with my sister, seeing her life and going into New York City. On Saturday I moved to Paterson, where I'm doing my internship. I'll write more about that later when I have something intelligent to say about it :).
Here are some pictures of New York City.

Me on the Brooklyn Bridge with Manhattan in the background (and the Statue of Liberty behind my shoulder)

New York Stock Exchange

Manhattan skyline at night from Hoboken, NJ

Deborah and I at a concert in Central Park

On the boat to see the Statue of Liberty

Deborah in the Ellis Island museum by a "word tree" showing various words that English has adopted from other languages.