My heart was lead, and my mind
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| "Regardless, the grace of God arrives/ rushing to the soul" |
and I remained for that wretched season
shut in on all sides, stifled, gasping for breath.
Regardless, the grace of God arrives
rushing to the soul when its endurance
is exhausted. Of a dreary morning, I
stood gazing round the courtyard, pleading
God for assistance; suddenly I turned
toward the broad katholikon and saw
one dressed as though a bishop enter
the open doors, as though borne on wings.
Within the nave, he remained standing for some time,
his arms raised in prayer. I stood all that while
there behind him in great fear, trembling in prayer,
for I was very alarmed at the sight of him.
When his prayers were spoken, he turned
and walked to me, with each step vanquishing
incrementally my pain and dread. And then
he stood before me and, stretching out his hand,
touched me on the chest and tapped my tender breastbone saying aloud:
I waited, I waited for the Lord
And he stooped down to me.
He heard my cry.
He drew me from the deadly pit,
from the mire and clay.
He set my feet upon a rock
and made my footsteps firm.
He put a new song into my mouth,
new praise of our God.
He spoke these lines three times, tapping
me each time on the tender breastbone. Then,
he turned and was gone, and instantly, light
flooded my mind, and joy split my heart
with an awful, aching sweetness.
"Visitation" by Scott Cairns in Love's Immensity, pg. 67-68.
Personal photo, April 2013
