An Odd and Wondrous Moment

There is a book about pastoral ministry called “this odd and wondrous calling.”  That title phrase captures so much of what my pastoral experience has been, so far.  There have been odd moments.  There have been wondrous moments.  And there have been many moments that are both odd and wondrous: someone sharing how the Holy Spirit spoke to them through a sermon I didn’t think was that good, kneeling to pray on the floor of a Nepalese family’s apartment to pray after an exhausting and scary day, and giving the charge to a friend at her ordination. 

When my friend asked me to give the charge, I said yes immediately.  The charge is one of the last parts of the ordination service, when another pastor encourages the newly ordained pastor in keeping the weighty ordination vows they have just taken.  It is often one of the most personal parts of the service.  I was excited and honored to have this part in her celebration. 

And then I started to think about what I would say.  I started to get cold feet, wondering how I could possibly say something worthy of the occasion.  It seemed like a job better suited to someone with thirty years of ministry experience, not someone who is at the beginning of their ministry journey.

But I said I would do it, so I prayed for words and settled into writing it.  I wrote lines, deleted them, and wrote more.  As I wrote and edited, I found one of those odd and wondrous moments.  The charge is a formal encouragement in ministry, in remaining faithful to the vows you have taken.  But as I was writing I realized that we give each other informal charges all the time.  We encourage each other as we share experiences and ask “what would you do?” or “what do you think I should do?”  We encourage each other as we pray for the difficult and messy situations we face.  We encourage each other to stay faithful to our vows and grow in love for God and his people as we simply spend time together. 

As I wrote and then gave the charge, I discovered that it actually made sense for me to give this charge and not someone who has been doing this forever.  We’re going to live this out together--encouraging, challenging, learning, and discovering.  I’m looking forward to discovering more odd and wondrous moments in the midst of our calling together.     

Personal photo, February 2013

Sunday Prayer: I'll Wait

My prayer tonight is a song I have been listening to a lot lately, called “I’ll Wait.”  It is written and sung by Sara Groves on her Invisible Empires album.

She wrote this song during a stressful time of life. On her website, Groves says, "I knew from the beginning this is something I'm going to have to walk through, but I also knew from the very beginning I was going to be a stronger person when I came out the other side. So that song is saying, ‘Now more than ever I know, I know that I have to wait for You. I can't move on my own.'"  It is a prayer of trust during a difficult time, when she didn’t know how everything would work out.  And that is my prayer, too.   

I can't run with the horses

If I can't keep up with men

I can fight all these forces

On my own and never win

I can take it from here

And have nowhere to go

I could take it for years

And have nothing to show

I can work like the devil

Build a tower to the sky

I can work for my possessions

Till they empty me of life

I can build my own house

And be building in vain

I can plant a seed

But I can't bring the rain

I'll wait for you

Now more than ever

I see it's true

Now more than ever

I'll wait for you now

I can take my own vengeance

Make a war of all my pain

I can get my own insurance

Find a way to lay the blame

I can win the whole world

And lose my own soul

Holding on for dear life

Spinning out of control

I'll wait for you

Now more than ever

I see it's true

Now more than ever

I'll wait for you now

I don't want to do this by myself

I know I need your help

And so I'm waiting for you

I can take it from here

And have nowhere to go

I can take it for years

And have nothing to show

I'll wait for you

Now more than ever

I see it's true

Now more than ever

I'll wait for you

I don't want to do this by myself

I know I need your help

And so I'm waiting for you

P.S. When I read her bio, I discovered that kids from NewCity Kids, where my sister used to work, sing in “Eyes on the Prize” on the same album.  Very cool!

New Lines to Womanhood

I recently read a review of the award-winning HBO show Girls in the April 2013 issue of Christianity Today.  The show focuses on an early 20s woman named Hannah as she tries to figure out adulthood—jobs, renting, friends, boyfriends.  It is a coming-of-age show, written and directed by 26-year-old Lena Dunham.  “What’s new about the show is that these women, like many real-life ones, are working from a rough script.  The lines that signal ‘womanhood’ are absent, coming later or not at all, or look quite different from the lines our mothers followed” (pg. 70). 

Like the author of the review, Katelyn Beaty, I also fit into the category of real-life women working from a rough script.  When I was younger, I assumed that I would follow those traditional lines to womanhood: I would meet a nice Christian guy (probably in college), get married shortly after college, buy a house (unless we were missionaries living overseas), and have kids.  I would work before the kids were born and maybe part-time after.

None of that has happened in my life, so far.

I don’t regret my life—it has been full of unique experiences I would have never had if my 13-year-old-self’s life plan had come to fruition.  But at the same time, I have had to figure out new lines to womanhood.  Maybe I should say I am trying to figure out new lines to womanhood.  One day at a time, I am living the life God has called me to and trying to find the lines.

To be honest, it can be a lonely and confusing place.  I don’t have that many role models.  There are portrayals in the media, Girls and Liz Lemon in 30 Rock come to mind, but TV show characters tend to hop from boyfriend to boyfriend, sleeping with them all.  That isn’t part of my life, but the church is a part of my life.  The church gives me stability when everything around me seems to be changing.  The church gives me a community of people who love and care for me, but also don’t quite know what to do with me.    

That’s why I am writing this.  So far in my life I have kept my experiences and feelings about being single pretty private.  I’ve only let the closest circle of my friends in.  But that needs to change, so I am going to be writing more about this part of my life in the future.  I hope to write about the joys, the sorrows, the practices I find helpful, and the habits that are unhelpful.

By sharing my story, I want the 12-year-old girls and boys in my congregation to see what life looks like if you don’t marry early.  I want the 22-year-old woman who just graduated without her Mrs. Degree to have hope that God has beautiful plans for her life even if they feel unconventional.  I want the 45-year-old married pastor to have a glimpse of what it looks like to be in this space and how he or she can be hospitable to people who don’t fit the mold.  I want the 60 year-old who never married to have the permission to tell his or her story, too.  

I want the church to warmly welcome people into community, no matter who they are.  Beaty asks “Are our churches places where women like Dunham can know and be known?  Where their ambitions and dreams are encouraged, not squelched or made to fit into old scripts of womanhood that don’t speak to them?  Where a story is told and retold that speaks to their deepest desires and orients them toward wholeness and self-giving instead of self-gazing?” (pg. 71).  I hope and pray that sharing more of my story can help the church to be such a place.  I hope that together we can develop and affirm many paths to adulthood. 

                 

Top photo by Wally Gobetz, used under a Creative Commons License.  http://www.flickr.com/photos/wallyg/8416119593/.

Bottom photo is a personal photo taken August 2012.

Sunday Afternoon Prayer: A Prayer for the Year to Come

I'm continuing the birthday theme for one last post (previous here and here), with my prayer for the coming year of my life.

God my help in years past and hope for years to come,

Thank you for your faithfulness in the past year,

For grace in difficult situations,

For growth as a pastor

For relationships that have supported me.

And in this year to come, may I be a person of

Strength,

Joy,

Stability, and

Hospitality.

May I grow in my

relationship with you,

prayer life,

memorized scripture, and

identity in Christ.

May I live in community with friends

Near,

Far,

Old, and

New.

May I serve you

Faithfully,

With wisdom,

With self-less love for others, and

Wherever you call me.

May I be filled with joy

Exploring your creation,

Creating beautiful things,

Laughing with friends,

And trying new things.

May whatever I do,

Whether in word or in deed,

Be done in the name of Jesus.

In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Personal photo taken in the Iona Abbey, Iona, Scotland, January 2013. 

Birthday Gift to Myself

This year for my birthday, I took myself on a little vacation.  I went to Ludington, a lovely little town on Lake Michigan with a great state park.  I stayed at the Abbey Lynn Inn, which was a beautiful historic home with wonderfully hospitable owners (and delicious breakfasts!).  If you are looking for a place to stay in Ludington, I would recommend it!  I did some hiking, hung out at my B&B, read, took pictures, watched the sun set over the lake, and just rested.  

I am thankful for the time and space to take some time away, breath fresh air, and come back more relaxed!

Thanks to the Women Who Have Formed Me

When I was on the Isle of Iona in Scotland during January, I visited the Nunnery.  The Nunnery is the ruin of an Augustinian nunnery built in the thirteenth century.  For several hundred years, women lived, worked, and worshipped here.  Their lives were similar to the men who lived in the abbey down the road.  They worshipped God together.  They prayed.  They grew and prepared food for themselves.  They took care of the sick and needy.  They offered hospitality to those in need.  They lived in community with each other.

Nunnery Church

But these women's names and stories are mostly forgotten.  The ruins have not ben restored, and it is said that this is one of the best preserved nunneries in the British Isles.  As I explore the island I used a book called Around a Thin Place, published by the Iona Community's publishing house, to help guide my reflection at significant points.  At the Nunnery it calls attention to women of faith, both this whose names history has remembered and forgotten.  

Me and the Nunnery

It also asked us to remember women whose lives have shaped us.  I started to list women whose faith and love have shaped me, and it is a long, long list.  It starts with my mom, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and cousins.  Sunday school teachers and other adults from church growing up.  Family friends.  Women I went to college with.  My teammates in China.  Friends God gave me during my seminary years.  Mentors and colleagues in ministry.  

My mom and I at my ordination.  I love this picture!

I wouldn't be who I am without them.  God has used them to shape me.  To give me examples of loving Christ and serving the church.  To encourage the gifts they saw in me.  To challenge me and console me.  Today is my birthday, and as I reflect on my life I thank God for all of these women and the impact they have had on me.  And as I look to the future, I pray that I will have such an impact on those around me now and those who will look to me in the future.

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also" (2 Timothy 1:5). 

P.S. Many men have shaped me too, and I am thankful for them too.

Sunday Afternoon Prayer: A Prayer of Resurrection

It has been a long winter for me, and a friend knew I needed some beauty in my life.  She gave me Mary Oliver’s newest book of poetry, A Thousand Mornings: Poems.  In this book I found a poem that gave me an image and a prayer for my life.  It points to the hope of resurrection, which makes it a good prayer for today.

Hurricane

It didn’t behave

like anything you had

ever imagined.  The wind

tore at the trees, the rain

fell for days slant and hard.

The back of the hand

to everything.  I watched

the trees bow and their leaves fall

and crawl back into the earth.

As though, that was that.

This was one hurricane

I lived through, the other one

was of a different sort, and

lasted longer.  Then

I felt my own leaves giving up and

falling.  The back of the hand to

everything.  But listen now to what happened

to the actual trees;

toward the end of the summer they

pushed new leaves from their stubbed limbs.

It was the wrong season, yes,

but they couldn’t stop.  They

looked like telephone poles and didn’t

care.  And after the leaves came

blossoms.  For some things

there are no wrong seasons.

Which is what I dream of for me. 

              

The Waiting of Holy Saturday

Entrance to Church of the Sepulchre,
where tradition says Jesus died and was buried

Today is Holy Saturday, the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.  I keep seeing things on Facebook starting to celebrate Easter, and it seems too soon for me.  I wonder what that it was like for the women and disciples on the day after Jesus died.

I imagine them huddled together, maybe in the same upper room where just a few days before they had celebrated Passover together or maybe they went back to Mary, Martha, and Lazarus’ home in Bethany.  It was the Sabbath, so maybe they went to the local synagogue to pray.  I wonder if they could get the words off their tongue, or if they just got stuck in their throat.  Or maybe they stayed at home so the religious authorities wouldn’t decide to come for them next.

They were grieving.  There was no other choice.  They couldn’t know that when the women went to the tomb the next morning, they would find it empty.  They couldn’t even dream that it would be a possibility.  And so they waited, full of grief and questions.  Unsure of what was happening.  Unable to see beyond the darkness.

There are times in life that feel like that day.  When darkness and questions surround us and we can’t see what the future might hold.  Times of waiting and wondering, when we can’t see beyond the darkness that surrounds us.  

For the women and the disciples, God was working in an amazing way.  Preparing to change the world with the resurrection.  But they couldn’t see that yet. 

This week, I found this quote: "We thought waiting was a parenthesis. It was not. God was working, only we couldn't see it" (The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero, pg. 173).  God was working on Holy Saturday.  I trust that God works in the dark times of our lives, the times that feel like parenthesis, the times we can’t see beyond the darkness. 

I don’t want to skip to celebrating the resurrection yet, because the times of waiting and wondering are important.  They are times that the Holy Spirit can work in us, preparing for new things to come.       

Photo by Michael Plutchok, used under a Creative Commons License.  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A_Talit,_Keffiyeh_and_Palestinian_scraf.jpg

UK #12: God Gathers, Protects, and Preserves

I wrote this on the plane, somewhere over the Atlantic off the coast of Greenland, and my way home (where I did arrive safely).  I have lots of specific stories to share in the coming days, but for this post I am going to focus on a theme that I have found again and again on this trip.  

A cross on the island of Iona, with the parish church in the background

 People have said the church in Europe is dying, or even dead.  When I talked to Rosie, she said that people have questioned why she is going into ministry, since the church is going to be gone in ten years.  And the church certainly doesn't have the cultural prominence that it once did.  But the church is not dead.

As I visited churches, from York Minster's Gothic arches to cushions on the floor at Holy Trinity Brompton in London (more on that in another post), the words of the Heidelberg Catechism echoed in my head: "God gathers, protects, and preserves [the church] for himself" (Q&A 54).  This is one of my favorite phrases in the Catechism because it reminds me that the church doesn't belong to me, or my congregation, or denomination.  We are God's church, God's people gathered in the world, and God is sovereign.

York Minster

God has been gathering the church for thousands of years.  Most of a thousand years in Britain alone.  God has passed down scripture through the ages--I saw Codex Sinaiticus at the British Library, which is the earliest manuscript of the complete New Testament from the middle of the fourth century (and it has the earliest and best witness for some Old Testament books).  It was all copied by hand in Greek.  It was moving to see how God passed his word from generation to generation.  God isn't going to drop the church now.  

So yes, the church looks different than it did 100 years ago.  
Yes, there are empty church buildings.  
Yes, it is not easy to be a Christian in Britain these days. 

St. Margaret's Chapel, the oldest building in Edinburgh

But no, the church is not dead.  In fact, the church is growing in places.  I think because Alpha courses at starting now (or Christianity Explored at All Souls), many of the Sunday services I attended interviewed a member of the congregation that was a new Christian because of these courses.  So I got to hear a number of stories of how the church is growing because of evangelism. It was encouraging to see these new brothers and sisters in Christ and hear about how Jesus has changed their lives.

The church is not dead because God is not dead.  God is alive, and he continues to gather, protect, and preserve for himself the body of Christ. 

Worship at Holy Trinity Brompton in London

This is just as true of the church in the U.S., too.  I have heard that denominations are going to be gone in 10 years.  Our culture is changing.  It isn't as easy to be a Christian as it once was.  But I trust that God is still in control. Maybe the church will look different in 10 years.  If it does, I hope that we are as creative as some of the British churches.  I hope that we become as welcoming to different sorts of people without knowledge of the church. And I hope that we will see people of all ages being found by God and entering the church.  I look forward to serving this church and watching how God will continue to gather, protect, and preserve us.

UK #11: Two Different Churches in York

After Edinburgh, I headed south, back to England.  My destination was the ancient city of York.  York is strategically placed where two rivers meet.  The Romans built a fort here in 71AD.  Constantine was in York when his father died, and he was crowned emperor in York.  

Ruins of a tower of the Roman city

In the 600s, the Pope sent a bishop to York, Britain's second bishop.  During the next several hundred years, Christianity grew and many churches were built in York.  Then the Vikings invaded and settled in York.  Eventually the surrounding Anglo-Saxon kings defeated the Vikings, but then 1066 came, and Britain was defeated by William the Conqueror.  By 1070, William appointed a Norman Archbishop of York, who began to build a large church.  In the middle ages, they used the Norman foundations of the church to build the York Minster over the course of 250 years.  They also started St. Mary's Abbey with French monks.  This was dissolved by Henry VIII when he split with the Roman Catholic Church. 

Me (at a strange angle) with the ruins of the abbey church behind me

 York has a long and interesting history with many interesting historic sites, with the most magnificent being the York Minster.

York Minster

The York Minster is BEAUTIFUL.  Words can't describe it. My point-and-shoot camera was pretty inadequate, too.  The building was built in phases over hundreds of years--generations of craftsmen spent parts of their life working on this building.  Their goal was to bring heaven to earth in this building.  While we don't know exactly what heaven will be like, I think that we last least get a glimpse in a building like this.

Interior of York Minster

The York Minster is still a working church. The tour guide said that their Sunday Services are still fairly well attended and they have programs for children.  They also have daily services.  I wasn't in York on a Sunday, so I went to a weekday Evensong service, which comes at the end of the work day.  Much of it is sung by the Minster choir. It is a liturgical service of prayers and sung and spoken scripture.  York Minster is an Anglo-Catholic Church of England church, which basically means they are as close to Roman Catholic practice as you get on the Protestant continuum. 

At the service I attended, there were plenty of tourists, who were very obvious because they weren't following the order of service by closely (one of the people in front of me gave me a strange look when started to say the creed).  But there were also people who belonged.  Mothers with kids in school uniforms carrying instrument cases like they were on their way to or from lessons.  The worship and the prayers were very heartfelt.  It was a very formal setting, which gave a sense that this is true and important, but it was also living.  God is here.  And God has been caring for his church for centuries.

York is a city full of churches.  These days, there are plenty of empty ones that aren't used as churches any more.  But right next to the Minster is a smaller church that is in active, thriving use.  It is called St. Michael Le Belfrey.  It is also a Church of England, but from the evangelical/revival stream, more like St. Mary's in Poole.  In fact, it was an early leader in this movement of church revitalization in the 1960s and 70s.  The story of those days is told by the pastor at that time, David Watson, in the book You Are My God (out of print, but I read it from the Calvin library).

St. Michael Le Belfrey Sign

Today they are still a vibrant church with a number of different services.  I went to their Wednesday noontime service.  Because it is winter, it was held in their church hall, not the church building itself.  It was about 50 people, mostly retired folks, it seemed.  It was a simple service--a song, a prayer, scripture reading, and teaching sermon.  There was a lunch after the service.  It was obvious people knew and cared for each other.

One thing that struck me was that the leaders made sure to explain things as we went.  They didn't assume that everyone had been Christians their whole life.  And the gentlemen that sat next to me, that I was able to chat with for a few minutes said he had only been a Christian a year and a half.  He said he is still learning new things all the time.  Thinking about this, it is probably more welcoming for someone who is a bit older when they consider Christianity to come into a place where people don't assume you know things because you have been a Christian all your life.  I think this is a challenge for us in the CRC and West Michigan in particular, because the vast majority of people in our churches 60+ have been Christians all their lives and probably went through Christian schools.  They are fairly well-educated in Christianity.  How do we make space for their colleagues and neighbors who didn't grow up in the church or left it long ago?  

In most of the evangelistic/renewal churches I have visited, there is careful attention to making sure things are explained so people with less church background can join in.  Even simple things, like after announcing that the reading is from the book of James, saying "that's near the end of the New Testament" to help people locate it in their Bibles.  When I attended Monroe Community Church, a CRC church plant at that time, the pastors were pretty conscious of this.  They always introduced themselves when they got up and introduced the way we did things.  Sure, those of us who were regulars didn't need to be told that we could get up and get a Bible from the table by the pole, but it made space for the visitors among us.  In a way, it says that our borders are open, we,re prepared to welcome new people in.  It seems that many established churches are less conscious of this--we just do what we do.  I think that we have things to learn from the British church about how to present Christianity and the church to people without any background in it, and that number is rapidly increasing in our society.

UK #10: Worship in Edinburgh

I was in Edinburgh on Sunday, and I worshipped at two different churches.  I started with St. Giles' (John Knox's church) 8am Communion Service.  It was only 10 people (it was eight o'clock in the morning....).  It met in one of their side chapels, and it was a simple, quiet service.  There was no music, just scripture, prayers, a short sermon, and Communion.  The congregation did not have a printed liturgy, which nice in its simplicity, but not very hospitable to visitors.  They had some different wording than I am used to, so I was saying slightly different words at a couple of points.  I don't like that feeling, so I always want people to be able to follow a written version if there are communal responses.

Interior of St. Giles, although not where I worshiped

I really appreciated the sermon delivery.  It was very simple, which fit the setting.  He basically stood in one place and didn't use his hands.  But he didn't stand behind a pulpit and he didn't use notes.  It felt almost conversational, but it was clearly well thought-out and researched.  Then pastor was nearing retirement age, so his experience gives him a certain gravitas, as did his Scottish lilt.  But it felt doable to me--I could preach in that style and still feel like myself, which I often don't with no-manuscript preachers.  I appreciated this service for what it was, although it probably didn't give me the best feel for what the congregation is like.

Welcome to St. Pauls and St. George's!

At 11am, I went to St. Pauls and St. George's Scottish Episcopal church, on the recommendation of someone from COS.  I had a wonderful experience there.  I ended up not having any interviews with pastors in Edinburgh because a couple things didn't work out.  So Sunday morning, my prayer was that I would have some kind of a good conversation with someone.  God answered that prayer!  P & G's (as they call it) was a very friendly congregation.  I was there pretty early because I wasn't sure how long it would take to get there.  I found a seat while people were mingling over coffee between services (also in the worship area).  A woman noticed I was there and came over and talked to me, which was really nice.  Then, shortly after that, the woman who came to sit in the row in front of me introduced herself.  Her name is Rosie and she is attending seminary now, headed for ordination in the Scottish Episcopal Church.  She was excited to find out about my trip and invited me to come and sit with her and her family.  This is a wonderful example of how to extend hospitality at church!  I am used to sitting alone, and wouldn't have felt bad doing so, but being asked to sit with someone made me feel like I belonged in a much deeper way.  I think a lot of people are not very comfortable sitting alone, so imagine the way you could welcome someone by inviting them to sit with you!  This probably goes couples or families, too.

The worship was contemporary in style.  It was thoughtful contemporary with very good musicians, and the congregation sang well.  Other than the sermon, the service was led by a young, female associate pastor.  The service involved a baptism that she led beautifully.  I don't have a lot of opportunities to see other young women in action, so that was a nice bonus.

View of the sanctuary from the balcony, after the service

During the service, she interviewed a man who was a participant in their last Alpha course to encourage people to attend or invite someone to their course that starts this week.  The man was probably around 60 years old, and he described himself as a cynic about faith.  He happened upon P &G's because he was trying to find the church across the street for an event.  He talked to a church member who said that he would be welcome at P &G's, and so he came once.  He also attended the Alpha course to explore Christianity.  Jesus met him through this course and he is now a Christian and attending P&G's.  I was thankful to get to hear his story and see one way God is working.

Rosie and I talked about the ways that the church is changing, but not dying out.  She pointed out that in the middle Ages everyone was Christian, but it wasn't a personal faith.  People trusted the priests to do the work of faith for them.  In later eras the number of people attending church remained high because that is what you did.  But now, it is a choice people have to make.  The number of people that attend church are smaller, but it is probably a more committed group of people.  She also shared that in Scotland, most young people have had no church exposure, so they are starting from scratch with Biblical knowledge, but people are interested in learning.  Her husband goes regularly to their son's school to teach Bible stories to interested students.  Half of the students attend to learn the stories.  They and their parents are wanting to learn more.  Rosie has had people question why she is entering the ministry because "the church is going to be dead in 10 years." But she sees new life and trusts that God is still working through the church in Scotland, even if it looks different than it did 100 years ago.  That resonates with what I have observed other places, and what I think is true for the church in the U.S., too.

More Edinburgh pictures on Facebook, and you don't have to be a member to view them.

UK #9: My Reformation Conflict in Edinburgh

It is probably almost heretical for me to admit this, but after spending a couple of days immersed in Scottish history in Edinburgh, I have mixed feelings about the Reformation.  

I started my historic tour at the famous castle.  It is an impressive fortress and told the story of centuries of war or fragile peace between Scotland and others, mostly the English.  The castle mostly eliminated references to the religious forces shaping many of the conflicts (which is an interesting observation by itself), but other sites were more balanced.  In the 1500-1700s, many of the conflicts were at least influenced by what was happening in the church.

Edinburgh Castle from the outside

I visited St. Giles Cathedral, which despite the name, is known as the "mother church of Presbyterianism".  John Knox was the pastor here from 1559-1572, as the Reformation conflict roared in Scotland.  It is an interesting church because it has a number of side "aisles" which are sort of like large alcoves off the main sanctuary area.  On one side of the church is the Chapman Aisle, which has a memorial to James Graham, who was loyal to the crown and Catholicism.  He was executed and later buried in a crypt beneath the church.  On the other side of the sanctuary is St. Eloi's aisle, which has a memorial to Archibald Campbell, a supporter of the reformers and a bitter enemy of James Graham.  He was executed too.  Many wonderful things resulted from the Reformation, but they came at a high price.

Center of St. Giles Cathedral

Then I went farther down the street to John Knox's house.  Historians think he only lived here the last few months of his life.  Before that, it belonged to one of Mary Queen of Scots' jeweler and goldsmith.  In the fighting that surrounded the Reformation (which led to Mary being forced to abdicate the throne for her son James VI), the goldsmith stayed loyal to the queen and the Roman Catholic Church.  He became part of a revolt to return her to the throne, but they lost and he lost his worldly goods as well.  The house was empty and Knox's health was failing, so he probably lived and then died here.

Dressed as John Knox for a photo

Today the house is a museum.  It captured much of the complexity of the Reformation and the pain it caused the nation.  It has early copies of Calvin's Institutes and a portrait of Knox by Theodore Beza (who knew he was an artist?  I missed that in Church History).  It shares the tremendous impact Knox had on the church, and his illustrious ideas for education for all and care for the poor.  

But it also shares the story of the original owners.  Although we might say they were on the "wrong" side, I suspect they too were trying to do the right thing, and paid the price.  The Reformation wasn't just a war of words waged through the books, letters, and confessions we read today, it was a war.  People died for their beliefs--on both sides.  And that makes me sad.

I also went to the National Museum of Scotland.  It is huge, beautiful, and informative.  I could have easily spent an entire day there.  In their galleries about Scottish history, they had sections about how Christianity came to Scotland and the effect it has had.  I was a bit horrified to see some of the effects of the Reformation, like instruments of torture used on suspected witches.  Instead of feeling proud of being a product of the Reformation, my time in Edinburgh left me wishing there was another way.  

Inside the Museum

At my classical exam (last step for ordination), one of the questions was something like what do you love and hate about the church?  I remember saying that I hate how the church is fractured into pieces and we continue to fight about things, if not on Reformation scale, on the local-church scale.  And I do hate how things divide us into different Christian branches and denominations.  I hate how some Christians can't take communion with others.  I hate how we judge and say this is the only way you must practice faith.  

And yet at the same time, I am so thankful for the Reformation.  I am thankful that I can read the Bible in my heart language and so can people from Nepal and Burundi.  I am thankful for our passion for God's word.  I am thankful that I don't have to go through anyone (and no one has to go through me) to communicate to God.  I am thankful for the Reformation's emphasis on the priesthood of all believers, so we all have important parts to play in the church.  I am thankful for our confessions that help us to teach and learn our faith.

I just wish that it didn't come at such a high cost.  I wish that Protestants hadn't reacted so harshly on so many occasions.  

I hope and pray that in my lifetime I will see parts of the church come back together instead of splintering more.  I hope that we can worship and serve together with brothers and sisters of different Christian background.  I hope that we can all have the humility to learn from each other and not just assume that our way is the way.  And I long for the wedding feast of the lamb where I hope we will all get to take Mass/Eucharist/Holy Communion/Lord's Supper together as one body.

UK #8: My Iona Reflections

Going to somewhere that is known as a "thin place" sets some expectations.  I hoped this would be a time away and that I would experience God in a closer way.  And there is something special abut this place where people have been worshiping  in special ways for thousands of years.  And perhaps it is an easier place to pay attention to God than the pressure of every day life.  But I didn't hear any new messages from God.  Instead, in gentle whispers, God reminded me that he is faithful.

The first whisper came as the ferry was approaching Mull--a partial rainbow.  When I arrived at the B&B, I saw another.  Rainbows remind me of Noah and God's promise to never destroy the world with a flood again. God has remained faithful to that promise, and so many other promises.  It is part of who God is.

And then, the first two nights I was there, the sky was clear and the stars were amazing.  The sky was covered with them.  That reminded me of God's promise to the barren Abraham, and God's reminder of his faithfulness through stars earlier this fall (sense a theme?).  I did a Bible search for other places the Bible talks about stars, and found Psalm 147: "He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds.  He determines the number of the stars, and calls them each by name.  Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit."

And then, as I was visiting sites around the island with a book from the Iona Community that provides reflections and prayers for each stop, I visited St. Martin's cross.  It stands at the front of the abbey, and has for 1200 years, "through Viking raids, the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the Age of Reason, the industrial revolution, the world wars, the cold war"  (Around a Thin Place, pg. 17). And through all of that, God has remained the same.  Faithful.  

The cross, the stars, and the rainbows were all reminders that God cares for his people and is faithful to his promises.  In a world and time of life that often seems uncertain and out of my control, it is a reminder that I need.
God is faithful.  He is in control.  And he cares for all of us.

If you want to see more Iona pictures, see my Facebook album.